Tiny Jei, Writer of Things

1.5M ratings
277k ratings

See, that’s what the app is perfect for.

Sounds perfect Wahhhh, I don’t wanna
derinthescarletpescatarian
tiefling-queer

it’ll never fail to amaze me that chessex, the game dice company - like if you bought your first dice set from a game store/comic shop/card shop you most certainly bought a chessex set - has such an ugly and poorly designed website. it looks like they went out of business 15 years ago.

vornskr

i don’t know what’s better, the fact that they only sell five different things and felt like they needed a site map, the single uk location with the giant union jack, or simply the times new roman header which reads:

“The coolest dice on the planet.”  ™

vornskr

THEY HAVEN’T UPDATED THEIR WEBSITE IN TEN YEARS????

vornskr

my mistake, literally every single page you click on has a different copyright date. so far I’ve seen 2001, 2005, 2007, 2008, 2009, 2011, and most recently 2012. amazing. well done chessex.

tiefling-queer

BUT LANA
HAVE YOU SEEN WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOU TRY TO ORDER DICE?????

vornskr

you….you have to email them your order form. oh, gods. you…have to type your credit card information. into an email. so they can charge you seven dollars in shipping or 7% of the total order cost if it’s over $100. fuck. if you have questions about the cost of air shipping, you can fax them anytime. jesus christ. oh gods. fuck. fuck me up. chessex. the coolest dice on the planet.  ™

zerofarad

this is another reason why I let my friendly local store make my chessex orders for me

thesongzebrabyonehtrixpointnever

Me: The Chessex website isn’t real and can’t hurt me:

The Chessex website:


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queenqueso

The best part is that this is literally by design

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amazing

patrickdiomedes

oh my god

derinthescarletpescatarian

These are the only people doing internet sales correctly

autumngracy
teaboot

There are so many reasons why I could never be a cop but a big one is I can't in all seriousness push for punishment of a crime that is 1. Ultimately harmless and 2. Very funny or clever. When my younger siblings fucked with me growing up they KNEW if I laughed I couldn't get mad. It's a glitch in the programming but at least it's an enjoyable one

teaboot

One time I was working site security at a mall and one of the rules was kids 12 and over weren't allowed in the motorized kiddie ride things for weight limit reasons and one day I turned the corner and found like 6 or 7 teenagers crammed ass to elbow inside Gonzo's Magic Bus Ride and I straight up started wheezing.

Had to be all like "this is objectively hilarious but I'm gonna have to ask yall to vacate the muppet magic space bus"

autumngracy
unfortunate-waitress

I’m in a pretty terrible mood. Tell me some funny stories, you guys!

aqueerkettleofish

Another story, same restaurant.  Most of the time, I wasn’t actually a server, I was the dishwasher (which for those of you who have never worked in a full service restaurant, means that I was the dishwasher, busboy, prep cook, fill-in line cook, bar back, janitor, and once, I shit you not, electrician).

My best friend at the time was working with me, and we were they type who could finish each other’s sentences, and we enjoyed messing with everyone’s heads by carrying on conversations while we were not in the same place.  Like, I’d be at the sink, he’d be bussing tables, and we’d just carry on our half of the conversation, pausing to fill in the gaps where the other would respond… and then turn around and reply to a response that we could not, in fact, hear, but knew what would be said.  One waitress actually hung by the kitchen door to verify that we were, in fact, having one conversation.  We were known as Thing 1 and Thing 2. 

This particular story takes place during a music festival where they blocked off a huge part of downtown and put literal concert stages in the street.  We were expecting a really busy night, and had a full staff… and of course, nobody showed up.  They start sending people home, including me.

I decide not to go straight home… I futz around for a bit, and realise that hey, I’m kinda hungry, and I don’t actually have much food at home, nor a whole lot of money. But if I go back to work, I can order something and charge it against my next cheque. 

Meanwhile, back at work, the entire city of Birmingham has showed up at the same time.  They’re slammed, and regretting sending people home.  The manager tried calling me, but I wasn’t home.  So he turns to Thing 2 and says “Hey, can’t reach Thing 1 at home.  Do you know how to get hold of him?”

Now, Thing 2 is kind of irritated at being asked how to contact a person who isn’t home in the days before cellphones, so in complete sarcasm, he puts his fingers to his temples, acts like he’s sending a telepathic transmission, and says “He’ll be here in five minutes.”  The manager takes it as the sarcasm it was intended to be… for exactly four minutes and forty-five seconds, when I walk in the door.  I could see from a block away that the place was slammed, and I don’t even need to be told that I’m going Back to Work.

The hostess just dropped her jaw and was like “HOLY SHIT HE REALLY DID IT.”  It’s not hard to guess reasonably close to what happened, so I just keep a straight face and say “Yep.” and walk back and get to work. 

autumngracy
toskarin

why didn't they just leave pompeii when the volcano erupted? were they stupid?

foone

Fun fact: they did leave Pompeii! It's estimated that the population pre-eruption was something like 20,000, and the most likely number of dead in is in the range of 1,500-4,000. So most people just did leave Pompeii, it's just that not everyone left or could leave.

fuckinnear

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toskarin

I'd have still left. the human body is capable of wonderful things in the face of danger

tooth-witch

A lot of people died in the boats tho:/

toskarin

I would have paddled away quickly